Inside the Beltway

The Washington Times
Monday, September 23, 2002
Copyright 2002 News World Communications, Inc.

By John McCaslin

Warped love

Remember all the rumors swirling around Washington during the early '90s that first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton threw a lamp at her husband in the White House? Did anybody stop to think what would have happened if she had hit her target?

We find out in Washington author Christopher Buckley's soon-to-be-published Random House novel, "No Way to Treat a First Lady."

In this suspense thriller, the first lady of the United States [no, her name isn't Hillary] is actually charged with manslaughter of her philandering husband, the president. In the midst of a bedroom spat, she is accused of hurling a historic Paul Revere spittoon - rather than a lamp - at her husband, with tragic results. Soon the attorney general has no choice but to put the first lady on trial for assassination. Imagine that, assassinating your husband. What happens next in this hilariously warped love story you will have to read for yourself.

Harlem harem

The office in Harlem for Clinton
tells applicants seeking positions:
The time has expired
'cause Bubba has hired
an intern for ev'ry position."
-Jim Wrenn, editor of Poli.Sat.Com, inspired by word that former President Bill Clinton's office in Harlem is now telling people responding to ads for internships that all positions have been filled.

Provocative politics

Last week we told you about Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAulliffe's unpleasant appearance at the University of Maryland in College Park, where College Democrats were signing up new party members to support Democratic candidates and initiatives.

Now, the following letter to the editor appears in the current issue of the Diamondback, the university's independent student newspaper. Written by sophomore Nazanin Ghassemian, the letter speaks for itself:

"Upon entering the Stamp Student Union for lunch on Sept. 17, I was quick to lose my appetite as I had the frightful experience of witnessing what was an obviously shameful promotion politics. The College Democrats had invited two distinct [Washington] Redskins cheerleaders to support their 2002 campaign initiatives. What made their 'special guests' even more special was the fact that the rear ends of these women, as well as their breasts, were practically falling out of their clothing.

"This was quite unpleasant, as their side of the political spectrum generally seeks support from women. Perhaps if they want to exalt their politics, the College Democrats should focus on their ideas about the government rather than the parading of scantily clad women in front of the cameras. I do not need to see the body parts of women to understand the political ideals of a party. I would have appreciated it if the College Democrats could have sought a more tasteful manner to promote their party's candidates and political ideals, especially since I was hungry."

Silencing abstinence

Rep. Dave Weldon, Florida Republican, is among an elite group on Capitol Hill. Besides politician, he's a medical doctor.

In recent days, this physician-turned-congressman has turned his medical scope on Advocates for Youth, SIECUS and Planned Parenthood after they launched yet another campaign to eliminate "abstinence-until-marriage" education programs.

"They claim that abstinence education is 'harmful' to the health of adolescents while turning a blind eye to the medical facts regarding the gaps in protection from pregnancy, HIV/AIDS and other STDs that condoms provide," says the doctor, er, congressman.

Dr. Weldon charges that such groups promote their own interests over the health and well-being of teens, explaining that federal abstinence programs are unwelcome competition to an industry that has been taking federal funds for over three decades and is more interested in protecting its wallet.

America First

It's called the America First Party, made up mostly of former Reform Party members who had previously abandoned the Republican Party.

Despite their dissatisfaction with Republicans, however, they still look an awful lot like them. Not in their dark business suits and red ties, not in the AFP's platform that includes a resolution calling for President Bush's impeachment in the event of an unlawful use of American troops.

Rather, the party's official web site - - is strikingly similar to the Republican Party's official Web site, Colors, page layout, and campaign buttons are nearly identical.

The only difference we see right off the bat is that the GOP site features a picture of President Bush, while the AFP has a picture former Ohio Democratic Rep. James A. Traficant Jr., who was recently imprisoned on multiple criminal charges. The AFP says Traficant, who sided with Republicans in his final months in office, was railroaded, and encourages its party faithful to help bail him out.

Ironically, the AFP's mission statement is to "commit ourselves to elect honest people to public office ... [and] to clean up our corrupted political system."

*John McCaslin, a nationally syndicated columnist, can be reached at 202/636-3284 or